FAQ

As adults, we often struggle to self-regulate our own device use, so it’s understandable that kids and teens, whose brains are still developing, find it even harder.

Many of today’s devices are designed to be addictive. Research shows that heavy use has been linked to increased anxiety and depression, academic difficulties, body image issues and early exposure to adult content. While smartphones are now part of everyday life, we believe kids need time and space to grow, before carrying a portal to the entire world around in their pocket.

Most American kids have a smartphone* by age 11 (and 25% have one by age 8). Teens can receive hundreds of notifications a day, creating constant distractions and social pressure.

Kids want phones so they can socialize, game, and scroll, and we understand that. Still, delaying smartphones gives children more time to build focus, resilience, and real-world relationships.

*By smartphone, we mean any internet-connected device, especially one that can download social media and gaming apps.

Social media can feel like a harmless way to stay connected, but it’s designed to be addictive. For teens, the influence of social media goes beyond screen time. Many young people say social media makes them feel worse about themselves. In fact, nearly 50% of teens believe it negatively affects people their age and wish it hadn’t been invented.

Researchers increasingly link social media to youth mental health challenges. It has also been shown to impact brain development, memory, and reading cognition.

The longer you can delay, the better. We encourage families to follow Jonathan Haidt’s Four Norms and delay smartphones until high school and social media until at least age 16. This approach reflects growing concern from public health leaders like former US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy and researchers who have found that later access to smartphones and social media is associated with better mental health outcomes. That said, every family is unique. OR Unplugged is a judgment-free community - whether you’re delaying devices until high school, or just trying to reduce screen time in your family, we welcome you!

We’re not anti-technology—we use it too! We believe technology should support children’s growth, not get in the way of it. Not all screen time is the same - watching a family movie together is very different from scrolling TikTok for hours. With screen time, both the content and the amount of time matter.

Kids also need lots of screen-free time to play, build face-to-face friendships, move their bodies, and connect with family. Helpful guidelines we recommend:

- Delay social media, regardless of the device.

- Set clear time limits and explain the “why” behind them.

- Create screen-free spaces and times, like meals and family gatherings.

- Encourage device use in shared spaces when possible.

- Power down screens about an hour before bedtime for healthy sleep habits.

You have lots of great options! There are many simple devices that allow calling and texting without internet access, like Gabb, Troomi and Pinwheel phones or watches. Got an old iPhone laying around? If it runs iOS 17 or later, you can use a new setting called “Assistive Access” to make it into a simple phone that only calls and texts. Click here to find out how.

It's never too late—small changes can still make a big difference. Here are some tips:

• Have honest conversations about your concerns and listen to your child or teen’s perspective.

• Try screen-free meals and create regular times during the day to unplug.

• Keep screens out of bedrooms and use a simple alarm clock instead of a phone.

• Turn off unnecessary notifications and delete any addictive apps like gaming and social media.

• Set clear boundaries around when and where devices are used.

• Make sure the screen rules apply to adults too!

It helps to set clear limits with love and kindness. Make sure your child knows that the screen rules are not there as a punishment. Watching a video or reading an article about how hard the tech companies are working to make today’s technology addictive can help kids and teens understand why you are setting limits. You might say something like:

“Today’s devices are designed to be addictive. Even adults who have fully developed brains struggle to regulate their screen time. Your brain is still growing, and because I love you so much, I want to protect you. This isn’t a punishment or because I don’t trust you. It’s because we are learning more and more about how these products negatively impact brain development, social skills, and mental and physical well-being. I love you too much to let you be a guinea pig in a giant experiment where we don’t yet know the outcome. I know it’s hard to have different rules than some of your friends, but I know you’re strong enough to handle it.”

Students are still developing the skills needed for focus, self-regulation, and social connection. Smartphones—designed to constantly pull our attention—can interfere with academic learning and social connection. Expecting young people to self-regulate technology that even adults struggle to manage isn’t fair.

Smartphones offer an easy escape, allowing kids to tune out when socializing feels too awkward or academic assignments feel too challenging. Working through these uncomfortable moments is how kids develop resilience, independence and social skills. Phones don’t just affect the student using them, their presence distracts everyone. Teachers feel this daily as they spend valuable time managing devices and AirPods instead of teaching.

Even the tech executives themselves - the people who created these products - send their own kids to screen-free schools. They designed these devices to hold our attention for as long as possible, and they recognize that this is incompatible with learning and focusing. It’s time to give our kids what Silicon Valley parents give their kids - schools free from distraction where teachers can teach and kids can focus on the academic and social skills they need to thrive in the world.